Do you... Be who you are.

Why should you worry about what other people are doing??? You REALLY shouldn't.... Life is about discovering the real you. While you are on your journey do not get stuck comparing yourself. A new quote I recently found hit home. "Comparison is the thief of Joy"........We all struggle and our life circumstances do not define who we are. I intentionally live to not compare my life to others. Spending time hanging out in one of my favorite places reminded me of this. I know someone needs this reminder. So, I wrote this for you. If you are struggling with this stop and look at the blessings all around you. Thankful, I had some truely lovely conversations in the last 24hrs with some amazing women. Our journeys have crossed for a reason. 

I guess it is supposed to be this way.

Sometimes it is hard to be the one without a significant other. Although, I am at a place in my life where I am comfortable being single. I do miss being married. The comfort of knowing someone is waiting for you. Someone is thinking of you. Someone loves you unconditionally. I love having deep conversations with my dear friends about their joys and struggles as couples. We talk about why, how, and what may or may not need to change. Grace, intimacy, truth, and friendship are the key to a great foundation. I love being around my favorite couples! I have watched their love grow and grow. Marriage is hard work but so rewarding. Great blessing on my favorite couples!! Thanks for loving me❤️

One month in....

I am 39..... So I am going to share pieces of my journey to 40. 

Month one highlights; In no particular  order....

Being beyond spoiled by my dear friends for my birthday. 

Coffee with a mentor of mine. 

Sweet moments and conversations with my girl. 

Being reminded that I am right where I need to be. 

Having my desire to go back to school confirmed 3 different ways.

Knowing this is the year for that leap of faith.

Certainly life is full of ups and downs

Random thoughts.....There are times and moments that are just difficult. I get up everyday and remind myself one foot in front of the other. Honestly, some days are really hard. Time heals all wounds, but the scars remain. The scars are hard to look at and not think of the memories. Our scars help shape our character. I am grateful for my scars. They give me an amazing perspective. Recently, life threw a major curve ball at me. I knew how I would handle myself. I would fall on my knees and pray for more strength, peace, and understanding. I recieved it and the support that I have received in return has blessed me ten fold. Living life to impact others is why we are here. The people in my inner circle help me remember this......

Inspiration Comes From Anywhere!

I wonder sometimes where I really went wrong. I think about who I have lost, who I have gained, and who has stayed. Then I remember, the Journey is the story. The pain of life is difficult and we all experience it. 

REMEMBER: We are all walking this crazy thing together. If everything in life was easy it wouldn't be as SWEET. The simple moments in LIFE are the SWEETEST.

Now, to the inspiration for today......

Yesterday.....We got to spend the day with my beautiful, kind, loving, and SMART SEESTER Breelyn. The day was  fantastic. We got to see her new place and enjoy her little family. We walked to lunch, played at the beach, sang, danced, played wii, and lived life together.

Why?!?! Is this my inspiration for my blog today you might ask...,?! 

It is because.... We each have our own journey... She is an inspiration to me. When she was little she always looked at life in a precious way. Everything was important to her, that quality is evident in life! She truly lives life by her own rules. She has lived life, traveled, studied in Ireland, struggled, loves who she is, and has an incredible way at looking at life! I am blessed to be a small part of it!!!

Besides being a mommy, being a big SEESTER is great!! I love the fact that I am able to watch their lives unfold (I have three sisters. I will share their inspiration to me, too) and fall into place. I am thankful for each moment I am able to spend time with each of them! Yesterday, was kinda of a DREAM day for me. 

Once again.... God always knows what he is doing and has a beautiful way of reminding me "I am right where he wants me". 

Stronger is a Choice

Here is the definition of STRONG....

strong

strôNG/

adjective

1. 1.

   having the power to move heavy weights or perform other physically demanding tasks.

   "she cut through the water with her strong arms"

   synonyms:

   powerful, muscular, brawny,powerfully built, strapping,sturdy, burly, heavily built,meaty, robust, athletic, tough,rugged, lusty, strong as an ox/horse; More
2. 2.

   able to withstand great force or pressure.

   "cotton is strong, hard-wearing, and easy to handle"

   synonyms:

   secure, well-built,indestructible, well fortified,well protected, impregnable,solid More I like the second definition. It speaks volumes! The pressure we feel during stressful situations makes or breaks us. We all have a breaking point, figuratively speaking. I have thought many times I just can't do this... I can't move on... I can't look forward.... Why ... Why... It was because the trial or test was making me STRONGER! After all I have gone through, I believe God allows pain and hurt to keep you reaching for Him. In the moments I thought I was going to break, He would speak to my heart... You are stronger! I have learned my anchor in him is the true strength behind my Joy! The strong person I am is because of him.  Blessings, Kel❤️

Reminder....

Hello again,

It has been over a year, since I posted something. I have written, rewritten, and erased many times.... I was recently reminded of this phrase "clouds don't last" by a dear friend. God gives us seasons of rest, work, pain, grief, joy...etc. I believe this last year has been a year of rest for me. I feel more at peace with who I am and where I want to go in life. I am ready to share more, do more and live more. The horizon is bright at the beginning and end of a story. I am ready to share more of my story. Life is beautiful and messy. I believe the messy moments are where our character is developed. Our character is very important. It is the core of who we are! March is one of my favorite months. I am going to share some special moments in my life this month. Please join me in this Journey ahead! Stay tuned in. 

Blessings❤️ 

Kel

The Little People Who Have Changed My LIFE.

I have been thinking about writing this for the past two years. I find it fitting with a number of plans I have for this new year, it is time to share my story.

I am beyond blessed to say I have been touched by Autism. This month is my tenth year working with these amazing children. I have worked with children diagnosed as early as 16 months to 14 years. I started out as an in home tutor, became an advising tutor helping to train new tutors, and then became a supervisor and had a case load of 17 children.

I have been trained in the theories of ABA (applied behavior analysis) and DTT (discrete trial training). I am well versed in the uses of PECS (picture exchange communication systems), Pivotal Response Training, and TEACCH. As well as, was a 1:1 aid in a classroom with one of the children I supervised.

I have done many hours of parent and family training for which, I feel as if they taught me so much more than I ever taught them!!! I have the greatest empathy and admiration for the parents of these children. Although, I have lots of training..... life and practical experience have taught me more.

Currently, I work in a classroom as an Instructional Assistant. We have 9 Boys, as with all children on the spectrum they are so different and unique. Everyday is a new challenge and the amazing ladies I am blessed to work with make the toughest days, easier.

I can go on and on about all I have experienced good and bad. I probably have enough material to write two books and maybe someday I will. But, I know I am a better person for all I have learned and experienced working with these amazing children and families!!

There are many highs and lows in the work that I do, but the highs out way the lows!!

Blessings on your journey! As I know I am excited to be on mine.

❤, Kel

Understanding...

I often reflect on all that has happened in my life and wonder, what I have learned from it all. My childhood was not the greatest at times. My teenage years, were fun. My adulthood has brought challenges I never thought I would have to face. During, those years I have had to deal with many people. I believe truth, facts and kindness disarms most. In My 37 1/2 years I have learned to be who you are in spite of everyone.

There are three kinds of people in your life; the ones who are by your side and cheer you on no matter what, the ones who wish you well from a far, and the ones who don't understand why you do what you do.

Well I understand more and more Just as Joshua walked around the Walls of Jericho ...that we must not stop marching. I am blessed through all my circumstances and I am learning to live a Joyful Life in spite of it all! Because, I know there is a purpose!

This was part of my Devotion today from the life Surrendered plan on You Version.

"You and I were placed on this earth to bring our Heavenly Father glory. And lots of it. Your tumultuous circumstance may be the very catalyst that helps someone see Jesus. I really only have one thing left to say to you.

March on. And one day, your walls will fall, too."

I know they will one day and until then I will March ON!!

❤, Kel

Intuition....

Honestly, I should have listened to mine a good handful of times. I did not heed the pounding in my chest and the still small voice. I believe God has given women an extra sense. I believe if we listened to that STILL small voice more often it could save us from many heartaches.

I know we as women can be blinded by the desire for things that we want versus the things we need. I have fallen on my face and gotten back up again. Don't get me wrong the falls have been heart crushing to the point of being on the floor in the fetal position for hours. At the end of those moments God has Reminded me, I am here once again to hold you and comfort you.

So I guess, I am writing this to Remind us all to heed and listen to your STILL small voice!

Blessing, ❤Kel

Coping

I have many things I do to cope or get through the difficulties of life. I pray, cry, talk to my best friends and trusted family members, listen to music, take a nap, and write.

Can you relate?! The most heart wrenching moments are unexpected. Although, most of the time they are the ones that help shape the person you're supposed to become.

Love and loss are usually the moments that change us. I personally, have had to deal with both. Then having to Deal with difficult people, often moves our character forward or backward.

Kindness seems to be the best way to disarm the pain another person may be going through. I have learned to respond to what is most important and let them know you are available.

We never know what someone else is going through. Before, you judge or make an assumption stop and put your self in their shoes. Maybe, it is their way of coping with their difficulties.

❤Kel

The glass...

.... can be half full, even when you don't see it. My heart still aches, but the healing has began again.

This heart of my is STRONG. I long to be held, caressed, told how beautiful I am. I know that day may not come and I am fine if it doesn't. The desire is still there and I am sure it will always be. I have loved and been loved.

I just think it wasn't as perfect as I thought it was. They both have taught me so much about who I truly am. I really love myself and Who...God wants me to be. There are certain doors He will open and then I will be able to continue on this amazing Journey.

So, for now I will wait and Praise him in this Hallway of My Life. I have not changed, I am consistent, I am loving, I am honest, I am forgiving, and I am trust worthy.

❤Kel

Missing Someone...

Sometimes it is very hard not to reach out.

I know it is BEST that I don't.

My heart aches because, time takes its sweet time.

I don't want to love you anymore, but I still do.

When you pour your heart and soul into a relationship and it gets cut off....everything is uneven.

My Pain is my Pain. My Hurt is my Hurt.

I wish I knew why.
Sometimes, it is just for you to move to where you are supposed to be.

❤

Life

•When you trust God to fulfill the promises He's given you, all the forces of darkness cannot stop God from bringing your dreams to pass.

•Everything you need for your destiny is within reach. Pray that God will open your eyes to opportunities, people and resources.

•No matter where we are in life, God has more in store. He never wants us to quit growing.

•Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. -1Cor 13:7

•Your word is your honor. If you say you're going to do something, then you need to do it.

•Life is a tapestry: We are the warp; angels, the weft; God, the weaver. Only the Weaver sees the whole design. -Eileen Freeman

•Choose not to settle. Pursue your God-given goals, knowing it’s never too late to accomplish everything God has placed in your heart.

~~~These are quotes and bible verses that have touched my soul. The hurt and pain of once again loving someone who didn't love me enough to stay.

I know I am worth more. I am strong and willing to move mountains if needed. I am loving, kind, honest, loyal and trust worthy. I love hard and deep. I only want the best for the people in my life, even those people who have hurt me. I know this just another step to where God wants me to be. I ask that he mold and shape me. I know each next step may not be easy, but I am willing to walk this path. I pray and hope my pain will bless others.

❤ Kel

Gut Check

Do you ever feel like you have been punched so hard emotionally, that all you can do is take it.

Then go run and hide. The emotions I feel are angry, hurt and frustrated.

Writing is all I can do to breathe and let go. Crying, sometimes releases it as well. I wish we could all take a moment to be in each others shoes. We all process loss and grief differently. I hate being told I am being disrespectful. When all I am doing is the trying to understand where you are coming from.

Everyone has to come to a point in their life when they have to evaluate what is most important. We all have moments that push us in one direction.

The direction can be forward or backward. There are times I have felt I have gone two steps forward, but then five steps back. In those times you must press forward and allow the challenge to move you. A Gut Check can be a good thing.

When was your last Gut Check?

❤Kel

Insecurities

What are yours?

Mine are:

Feeling unworthy of love.
Am I good enough?
Not being pretty enough.
Does he want me forever?
What is going to happen in five years?

My List could go on......
 
Life is not secure.
I believe we all have to make the best of the moments we are given.
Insecurities are in all of us. We all have them to some degree.

They vary for each of us do to our life experiences.
I feel for me I have lived enough life experiences for two lives.
The thing to do is not allow them to control you.

I saw this Pin on Pinterest the other day>>>
It made me really STOP and think!!



We are all in Search of our Happiness...but we rob ourselves of it more often than not.
Having "Insecurities" and focusing on them takes away your Happiness as well as your JOY.

Trying to be Perfect...sucks.

Do you ever feel like throwing in the towel?

Sometimes...no matter what you say, how you say it, what you do, or how you do it...it's just wrong. I do try my best in all things. Often, I fail. I don't have a hard time saying "sorry". I do have a hard time when I have my feelings hurt to let things go. I know when I am hurt or frustrated, my tone of voice changes.

I have struggled with this my whole life. I am constantly thinking about it. "It is not what you say, it is how you say it"!!! I know, I am not the only one in the world that struggles with this. Although, it sure feels like it. I am a very emotional person. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

I like to talk it out, not run away from it. Communication is the key to any good relationship. It is not easy. Especially, when you feel hurt. As well as, having something to say that is difficult to talk about. I believe it is often harder to communicate when you have been hurt by a person's words. I know for me I am very trusting and loyal. So, once I feel betrayed or hurt it takes time to repair the damage.

I don't intentionally hurt people. But, I may come off that way. I always try to take others feeling before mine. I know when I am hurt it is hard for me to do that. Taming our mouths is hard. I have learned that it is best to stay quiet and count to 10. It is important to recognize your weaknesses.

Often, I find reading the bible and praying...before reactng is the best thing.
I wish I would always do it.
I am Hoping to do it more.

My Song.....

A Song wrote for Me. By a dear Sweet Friend
God knew.... She would need me in her life.
I am thankful and blessed she is in my Life!!
I am beyond Blessed to have gone through my pain to show her there is always.... 
Sunshine after the rain and Clouds Don't Last.


Dark days, sleepless nights Cloudy haze, I can't take this fight A bright moon, but still no sun I wanna win this war but I've only just begun.

My body aches, my eyes burn red The smile I fake, no one listens to a word I've said The hurt I feel has me living in fear My pain is real but I've cried my last tear.

What happened to the girl who was strong and always had a song in her heart? I need to break away from this loneliness I think todays a great day to start. I can't dwell, though its hard, I can't continue in my past I had a friend once say that clouds don't last...

One step, at a time Got a grip on what once was mine Feeling more, every day Still unsure, til I hear that friend say

What happened to the girl who was stong and always had a song in her heart? You need to break away from the loneliness, I think todays a great day to start You can't dwell, though its hard, you can't be living in your past You need to hear me say that clouds don't last

So I'm taking her advice and looking to the sky I see a ray of sun thats finally breaking through And I smile for the first time and my eyes can finally see That there's a life thats awaiting me...

Now I'm the girl who is strong and always has a song in my heart I broke away from the loneliness, I picked a great day to start I don't dwell, it was hard but I aint livin in the past. I'm glad I listened when she said that clouds don't last

That friend was right, and her words I can pass I'll tell you the same, your clouds won't last...

Revised and dedicated to you.


In Awe...all I can say is I adore and love her very much.

Ready... Set... Go...

Wow, four months have gone by since I posted something. I have been writing. Just not posting. Many changes, new things and thoughts have been going on in this "busy" brain of mine. I feel as if I have been living in a small whirl wind of emotions. Some days feeling very happy and content then frustrated and beyond overwhelmed.

Happy and content....blessed and loved. In ways I have longed for. It's truly is the little things that make all the difference in the day to day.

My Motto for the current moment is: "One Thing At A Time".

Which I say Laughingly at times...because it seems as if the is one of my Life Motto's. The Stress that one can carry is Incredible concerning all that may be happening. I have had to learn how to compartmentalize many of my emotions to just get through the Crap of Life. I think it is funny how people can say "your so emotional" and "I just don't know how they will react". Well... if you never give them the opportunity to react. I guess you are more afraid of your emotions... then the other person is of theirs.

I hear so often people say they "don't want to deal with Drama". Well...It is there even if you don't want to deal with it. People have scrects that don't want to be told or found out. But, eventually they will come out. I know we all have a certain part of us that wishes we never said those words or made that choice.

Drama is Defined as:

dra·ma                                                                                                                      

noun

1.

a composition in prose or verse presenting in dialogue or pantomime a story involving conflict or contrast of character, especially one intended to be acted on the stage; a play.

2.

the branch of literature having such compositions as its subject; dramatic art or representation.

3.

the art dealing with the writing and production of plays.

4.

any situation or series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting, or striking interest or results: the drama of a murder trial.

5.

the quality of being dramatic.

Therefore, I believe we all have Drama in our lives and how we chose to respond to it shows a person's true character.

My Friend Closet.

I have a wonderful group of amazing friends. I am beyond blessed to have the closet of friends I have. We all have Friends who water our souls and push us in ways we can not ourselves. We also have friends that we just want to have fun with without any judgements.

My favorite thing about my friend closet is the amount of respect I have for my Friends and what each of them has taught me about myself. A select few of them have sat and cried with me when that was all I could do. My words could never express my gratitude. Some I have laughed so hard with...I thought I was going to have abs of steel forever...haha!!!

I believe God places people in your life for a specific purpose and some are there forever, some for a short time, and some go in and out. Real friends no matter time or distances are always friends. You know a friend for life when you just pick up right where you left off.

I am thankful, blessed, and love My Friends each and everyone!!! You Have all helped shape me and been there for me!!