Say what you need to say.....

Music is true therapy to my Soul. If you know know me well you know I'm a BIG John Mayer Fan. A lot of his songs have given me the motivation to move forward and let go of certain things in my Life.

"Say what you need to Say" is one of my very FAVORITES.

So here are the Lyrics to help understand:

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead,
If you could only ...

Say what you need to say

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say


The Reason I LOVE this song so much and why it means a lot to me is... I feel sometimes we hold back on what we say because we are afraid of what the other persons reaction will be and how that will effect our relationship with them.

A wonderful friend explained and taught me that their reaction is not our responsibility. You have no CONTROL over their reaction. What you have Control over is how the message is delivered. That is not to say that when you say something to someone you don't think about the best way to to say what you need to say is. It's just that we all need to be compassionate and truthful in all things even when it hurts.

We only have so much time on this earth and I believe we all have a responsibility to speak the TRUTH. Also,why leave things unsaid especially to family. I have experienced pain that I never thought I'd have to experience. Therefore going forward in my LIFE..... I want to SAY too Much vs. Not Enough.

I have learned that you really have to say what you need to say. I have been given many opportunities to speak into others lives and I hope and Pray that the words are not just from me. l feel deeply in my heart that saying too much especially when it comes to your loved ones and the moments you share with them it is never enough. I know I have Said what I needed to Say to My Loved ones.... BUT I know I have more to Say and when the opportunity is Right more will be said.

I always try to tell those that are most important in my life how much they mean to me and How blessed I am to have them in my Life.
<3 Kel

Beauty from Ashes...............

Where to start???!!!... I guess here it goes.

I am almost 36 and I think and know my Life has been full of tragedy and beauty. I have so much I want to say. So, please bear with me. I may be a bit scattered until I figure out what and how to write it all. I will promise you this, I will write from my heart and share my beauty and ashes of my Life.

I have watched loved ones die and little ones be born. I have held a friends hand in triumph and hugged a friend in pain. I have seen and watched my mother walk a rough road filled with almost unbelievable events that I would not believe them if I was not apart of them. I know what I have experienced will not go without impacting others. I know first hand there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Even though it is so real you never feel as if your going to reach it.

The Beauty of My Life:
          is watching the sunrise on a new day, even when you can't get out of bed to meet that day.
          is being able to hug your daughter even when you know the world around you is falling apart.
          is loving someone unconditionally and knowing at the end of the day they are your soft place to fall.
          is always having Friends who will be there no mater what and willing to just listen.
          is having Family that have beared a lot of my pain. They have carried me in their prayers and thoughts and I am eternally grateful.

The Ashes of My Life:
          is being with someone for almost 12years and your life ripped out from underneath you.
          is knowing your Mom has tried to commit Suicide four times and constantly having in the back of your mind that you may get that phone call again.
          is being a child of divorce and never wanting my child to experience the same pain.
          is having to deal with the pain of physical/emotional abuse as a child and learning to know it was not your fault.

The Beauty and Ashes of a Savior who has walked every mile with me and carried me toooo many times to count. I know without a shadow of any doubt in my mind that is why I can sit and write all of this down. My Angels have been on double duty my whole life. Hoping this year will give them a bit of a break.

I am the beauty in the ashes from a life filled with pain. I always try and see the good in everyone and the beauty that is in all of us. <3

"Say ,What you Need to Say" will be next.........

A New Start in Many Ways.

Hello to New and Old friends:

For those of you who know me well I have said for years I should and will write a book(or a few). I have decided to start here. I have been through so much in my 35 1/2 years. I Hope and pray my stories will touch and encourage all who come across them.

A bit about me: More details to come.
I am a mommy, aunt, daughter, sister, friend, and girl friend (this is not in order by any means) I have a beautiful, outgoing, smart and loving almost seven year old Daughter.

I have four unbelievable little sisters. Who each in their own right are making a path for themselves that I am very proud of. I am an aunt to many of my friends children. I adore them all and they make me feel very special. I am beyond excited to be an auntie again....My sweet Niece was born six weeks early after having inutero surgery to repair a hole on her back. She has Spinal Bifida...She is our Miracle. 

I am the daughter of a loving and caring Man who will do anything in his power for his girls and grandgirls....:) I am also the Daughter of a paranoid Schizophrenic which my Mother is Diagnosed.

I work as an Instructional assistant in Classroom with Autistic Kinder and First Graders. I love my Job and all the People I work with. I have been working with Autistic Children for eight years and have cried many tears (Happy and Sad) and smiled as I have watched them achieve their goals.

That is enough for now and more to come on all of it. In all of that in where the books are and will come from:)

So today as I reflect on where I have been and where I want to go. I have an Amazing Family and a Wonderful set of Friends that I have been Blessed with. Many of whom have shared my various adventures. I never want to feel the way I have felt about certain things in my life. I also want to continue to be a light in a dark world and show that no matter what there is something worth Believing in.  

Here is to A New Start and a New beginning for me to finally start.
Happy New Year...Bring it on 2011!!! Kel<3