The Little People Who Have Changed My LIFE.

I have been thinking about writing this for the past two years. I find it fitting with a number of plans I have for this new year, it is time to share my story.

I am beyond blessed to say I have been touched by Autism. This month is my tenth year working with these amazing children. I have worked with children diagnosed as early as 16 months to 14 years. I started out as an in home tutor, became an advising tutor helping to train new tutors, and then became a supervisor and had a case load of 17 children.

I have been trained in the theories of ABA (applied behavior analysis) and DTT (discrete trial training). I am well versed in the uses of PECS (picture exchange communication systems), Pivotal Response Training, and TEACCH. As well as, was a 1:1 aid in a classroom with one of the children I supervised.

I have done many hours of parent and family training for which, I feel as if they taught me so much more than I ever taught them!!! I have the greatest empathy and admiration for the parents of these children. Although, I have lots of training..... life and practical experience have taught me more.

Currently, I work in a classroom as an Instructional Assistant. We have 9 Boys, as with all children on the spectrum they are so different and unique. Everyday is a new challenge and the amazing ladies I am blessed to work with make the toughest days, easier.

I can go on and on about all I have experienced good and bad. I probably have enough material to write two books and maybe someday I will. But, I know I am a better person for all I have learned and experienced working with these amazing children and families!!

There are many highs and lows in the work that I do, but the highs out way the lows!!

Blessings on your journey! As I know I am excited to be on mine.

❤, Kel

Understanding...

I often reflect on all that has happened in my life and wonder, what I have learned from it all. My childhood was not the greatest at times. My teenage years, were fun. My adulthood has brought challenges I never thought I would have to face. During, those years I have had to deal with many people. I believe truth, facts and kindness disarms most. In My 37 1/2 years I have learned to be who you are in spite of everyone.

There are three kinds of people in your life; the ones who are by your side and cheer you on no matter what, the ones who wish you well from a far, and the ones who don't understand why you do what you do.

Well I understand more and more Just as Joshua walked around the Walls of Jericho ...that we must not stop marching. I am blessed through all my circumstances and I am learning to live a Joyful Life in spite of it all! Because, I know there is a purpose!

This was part of my Devotion today from the life Surrendered plan on You Version.

"You and I were placed on this earth to bring our Heavenly Father glory. And lots of it. Your tumultuous circumstance may be the very catalyst that helps someone see Jesus. I really only have one thing left to say to you.

March on. And one day, your walls will fall, too."

I know they will one day and until then I will March ON!!

❤, Kel

Intuition....

Honestly, I should have listened to mine a good handful of times. I did not heed the pounding in my chest and the still small voice. I believe God has given women an extra sense. I believe if we listened to that STILL small voice more often it could save us from many heartaches.

I know we as women can be blinded by the desire for things that we want versus the things we need. I have fallen on my face and gotten back up again. Don't get me wrong the falls have been heart crushing to the point of being on the floor in the fetal position for hours. At the end of those moments God has Reminded me, I am here once again to hold you and comfort you.

So I guess, I am writing this to Remind us all to heed and listen to your STILL small voice!

Blessing, ❤Kel

Coping

I have many things I do to cope or get through the difficulties of life. I pray, cry, talk to my best friends and trusted family members, listen to music, take a nap, and write.

Can you relate?! The most heart wrenching moments are unexpected. Although, most of the time they are the ones that help shape the person you're supposed to become.

Love and loss are usually the moments that change us. I personally, have had to deal with both. Then having to Deal with difficult people, often moves our character forward or backward.

Kindness seems to be the best way to disarm the pain another person may be going through. I have learned to respond to what is most important and let them know you are available.

We never know what someone else is going through. Before, you judge or make an assumption stop and put your self in their shoes. Maybe, it is their way of coping with their difficulties.

❤Kel

The glass...

.... can be half full, even when you don't see it. My heart still aches, but the healing has began again.

This heart of my is STRONG. I long to be held, caressed, told how beautiful I am. I know that day may not come and I am fine if it doesn't. The desire is still there and I am sure it will always be. I have loved and been loved.

I just think it wasn't as perfect as I thought it was. They both have taught me so much about who I truly am. I really love myself and Who...God wants me to be. There are certain doors He will open and then I will be able to continue on this amazing Journey.

So, for now I will wait and Praise him in this Hallway of My Life. I have not changed, I am consistent, I am loving, I am honest, I am forgiving, and I am trust worthy.

❤Kel

Missing Someone...

Sometimes it is very hard not to reach out.

I know it is BEST that I don't.

My heart aches because, time takes its sweet time.

I don't want to love you anymore, but I still do.

When you pour your heart and soul into a relationship and it gets cut off....everything is uneven.

My Pain is my Pain. My Hurt is my Hurt.

I wish I knew why.
Sometimes, it is just for you to move to where you are supposed to be.

❤

Life

•When you trust God to fulfill the promises He's given you, all the forces of darkness cannot stop God from bringing your dreams to pass.

•Everything you need for your destiny is within reach. Pray that God will open your eyes to opportunities, people and resources.

•No matter where we are in life, God has more in store. He never wants us to quit growing.

•Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. -1Cor 13:7

•Your word is your honor. If you say you're going to do something, then you need to do it.

•Life is a tapestry: We are the warp; angels, the weft; God, the weaver. Only the Weaver sees the whole design. -Eileen Freeman

•Choose not to settle. Pursue your God-given goals, knowing it’s never too late to accomplish everything God has placed in your heart.

~~~These are quotes and bible verses that have touched my soul. The hurt and pain of once again loving someone who didn't love me enough to stay.

I know I am worth more. I am strong and willing to move mountains if needed. I am loving, kind, honest, loyal and trust worthy. I love hard and deep. I only want the best for the people in my life, even those people who have hurt me. I know this just another step to where God wants me to be. I ask that he mold and shape me. I know each next step may not be easy, but I am willing to walk this path. I pray and hope my pain will bless others.

❤ Kel

Gut Check

Do you ever feel like you have been punched so hard emotionally, that all you can do is take it.

Then go run and hide. The emotions I feel are angry, hurt and frustrated.

Writing is all I can do to breathe and let go. Crying, sometimes releases it as well. I wish we could all take a moment to be in each others shoes. We all process loss and grief differently. I hate being told I am being disrespectful. When all I am doing is the trying to understand where you are coming from.

Everyone has to come to a point in their life when they have to evaluate what is most important. We all have moments that push us in one direction.

The direction can be forward or backward. There are times I have felt I have gone two steps forward, but then five steps back. In those times you must press forward and allow the challenge to move you. A Gut Check can be a good thing.

When was your last Gut Check?

❤Kel

Insecurities

What are yours?

Mine are:

Feeling unworthy of love.
Am I good enough?
Not being pretty enough.
Does he want me forever?
What is going to happen in five years?

My List could go on......
 
Life is not secure.
I believe we all have to make the best of the moments we are given.
Insecurities are in all of us. We all have them to some degree.

They vary for each of us do to our life experiences.
I feel for me I have lived enough life experiences for two lives.
The thing to do is not allow them to control you.

I saw this Pin on Pinterest the other day>>>
It made me really STOP and think!!



We are all in Search of our Happiness...but we rob ourselves of it more often than not.
Having "Insecurities" and focusing on them takes away your Happiness as well as your JOY.

Trying to be Perfect...sucks.

Do you ever feel like throwing in the towel?

Sometimes...no matter what you say, how you say it, what you do, or how you do it...it's just wrong. I do try my best in all things. Often, I fail. I don't have a hard time saying "sorry". I do have a hard time when I have my feelings hurt to let things go. I know when I am hurt or frustrated, my tone of voice changes.

I have struggled with this my whole life. I am constantly thinking about it. "It is not what you say, it is how you say it"!!! I know, I am not the only one in the world that struggles with this. Although, it sure feels like it. I am a very emotional person. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

I like to talk it out, not run away from it. Communication is the key to any good relationship. It is not easy. Especially, when you feel hurt. As well as, having something to say that is difficult to talk about. I believe it is often harder to communicate when you have been hurt by a person's words. I know for me I am very trusting and loyal. So, once I feel betrayed or hurt it takes time to repair the damage.

I don't intentionally hurt people. But, I may come off that way. I always try to take others feeling before mine. I know when I am hurt it is hard for me to do that. Taming our mouths is hard. I have learned that it is best to stay quiet and count to 10. It is important to recognize your weaknesses.

Often, I find reading the bible and praying...before reactng is the best thing.
I wish I would always do it.
I am Hoping to do it more.

My Song.....

A Song wrote for Me. By a dear Sweet Friend
God knew.... She would need me in her life.
I am thankful and blessed she is in my Life!!
I am beyond Blessed to have gone through my pain to show her there is always.... 
Sunshine after the rain and Clouds Don't Last.


Dark days, sleepless nights Cloudy haze, I can't take this fight A bright moon, but still no sun I wanna win this war but I've only just begun.

My body aches, my eyes burn red The smile I fake, no one listens to a word I've said The hurt I feel has me living in fear My pain is real but I've cried my last tear.

What happened to the girl who was strong and always had a song in her heart? I need to break away from this loneliness I think todays a great day to start. I can't dwell, though its hard, I can't continue in my past I had a friend once say that clouds don't last...

One step, at a time Got a grip on what once was mine Feeling more, every day Still unsure, til I hear that friend say

What happened to the girl who was stong and always had a song in her heart? You need to break away from the loneliness, I think todays a great day to start You can't dwell, though its hard, you can't be living in your past You need to hear me say that clouds don't last

So I'm taking her advice and looking to the sky I see a ray of sun thats finally breaking through And I smile for the first time and my eyes can finally see That there's a life thats awaiting me...

Now I'm the girl who is strong and always has a song in my heart I broke away from the loneliness, I picked a great day to start I don't dwell, it was hard but I aint livin in the past. I'm glad I listened when she said that clouds don't last

That friend was right, and her words I can pass I'll tell you the same, your clouds won't last...

Revised and dedicated to you.


In Awe...all I can say is I adore and love her very much.