At times I sit and think....
of the chances I have taken.
....opportunities I let pass.
....steps I have made.
....people who have walked out on my life.
....people in my life.
....pain I have had to Endure.
....lack of a real relationship with my mom...(whom I love dearly)
....women who have more than filled that void in my life. (to them I will be forever grateful)
....advice I have taken.
....advice I have given.
....advice I have ignored.
....advice I have given and then in turn...used myself :)
....my Beautiful, Wonderful, Lovely, Dear friends who have helped know
who I am in all my struggles and in my joy.
....my Loving Family who is a constant encouragement.
....my precious girl who loves me, makes me laugh and gives me a hug always at the right moment.
....How thankful I am to be a sinner Saved by HIS Blood and Grace.
Kel<3
Friday, April 22, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Change Brings Gifts!
I know what Love is...but not sure if I'll ever be able to keep it.
It is so hard to be the one who is told...."It's just not going to work or I don't see a future for us"....after all that you have gone through with that special person or so you thought. As well as, thinking your love was unconditional....but I guess it just was not that way at the moment.
What do you do with all the pictures and cards??!!... that meant soooo much. It's hard to let go and move on especially when you had the intentions to be in it for the long haul. I guess not having your say and how you felt about things makes it hard to grasp. Once the decision is made its made and there is no changing it. I very much dislike the pain...but I do know it will not go without a lesson learned and something once again to pass on.
I knew this year would be a year of change..but did not expect it to take a turn in certain areas. I have faults (quite a few which I don't hide them and hope to continue to work towards changing them) and "Baggage"... but who doesn't. We all have faults: Such as laziness in certain areas, we procrastinate, we have anger issues, hold things in and don't share our deepest fears, and we hide our pain and try our "BEST" to disguise it.
I can promise you in all of this.....I will hold the special memories close to my heart and the cherished time spent with those people who made a difference in my life for that time. One thing I have LEARNED is to be thankful in every situation and find what you need to grow and change from it. Not to say it does suck for a while, but that truly goes without saying...:)
Moving on and forward knowing that I am a strong woman who will love and do her best for those who are in her life. Walking through the open doors and allowing the doors that need to be closed are closed solid. Faithfully knowing I am not the one in CONTROL...but I have to do the work and follow my heart.
Looking forward to the Gifts that are coming with the change. A New Chapter Begins..........................
Kel<3
It is so hard to be the one who is told...."It's just not going to work or I don't see a future for us"....after all that you have gone through with that special person or so you thought. As well as, thinking your love was unconditional....but I guess it just was not that way at the moment.
What do you do with all the pictures and cards??!!... that meant soooo much. It's hard to let go and move on especially when you had the intentions to be in it for the long haul. I guess not having your say and how you felt about things makes it hard to grasp. Once the decision is made its made and there is no changing it. I very much dislike the pain...but I do know it will not go without a lesson learned and something once again to pass on.
I knew this year would be a year of change..but did not expect it to take a turn in certain areas. I have faults (quite a few which I don't hide them and hope to continue to work towards changing them) and "Baggage"... but who doesn't. We all have faults: Such as laziness in certain areas, we procrastinate, we have anger issues, hold things in and don't share our deepest fears, and we hide our pain and try our "BEST" to disguise it.
I can promise you in all of this.....I will hold the special memories close to my heart and the cherished time spent with those people who made a difference in my life for that time. One thing I have LEARNED is to be thankful in every situation and find what you need to grow and change from it. Not to say it does suck for a while, but that truly goes without saying...:)
Moving on and forward knowing that I am a strong woman who will love and do her best for those who are in her life. Walking through the open doors and allowing the doors that need to be closed are closed solid. Faithfully knowing I am not the one in CONTROL...but I have to do the work and follow my heart.
Looking forward to the Gifts that are coming with the change. A New Chapter Begins..........................
Kel<3
Love and Loss
Love and Loss......
Two Emotions...
Joy/Pain...or any of the many adjectives you can insert for your experiences.
Lets talk about the Love/Joy Part first.
The Love that makes you wake up in the morning is the BEST kind of Love. The truest definition of Love is....Actions. I think your actions are the best way to show Love. Using words to back up your actions is a wonderful way to show Love and should be done often. Love is also....unselfish and unconditional. The way I believe true Love lasts is by always putting the other person first. Love can come in many forms. For example: Love for a lover, Love for a friend, Love for your family, Love for your child/children, Love for a Job, and Love for a passion you have. Pick one and then you may understand what I am talking about.
I also think at times Love comes with a price..but it should not be a struggle to Love. I have many Loves in my Life...but knowing that Someone truly Loves Me for Me regardless of my past mistakes makes me want to wake up in the morning. As well as having someone that has more expectations of you than you do of yourself at times. Sometimes it takes, the perspective of that person to make you realize that you are worth the struggle. Sometimes hard work has to happen to make things better in your life. Knowing that their intentions are for the best even when you are afraid to make the steps to make changes that you know need to be made. Having that person/people in your life is..... How we know we are Loved.
The Joy part comes from watching those in our lives achieve the things they have been striving for. Joy is having a beautiful little girl who reflects your imperfections and best qualities. She is my mini-me and it is beyond fun to watch her grow and change. Joy is being loved completely for all that you are.
Now....Loss/Pain
Loss and Pain go hand in hand. One will not be without the other. I think Loss and Pain make you stronger or push in a direction you need to go. Death of a loved one or family member is a Pain that many of us have had to endure. For me watching a beloved grandparent pass away is beyond what I never wanted to experience. The pain that is felt in those moments can hurt for many years until you properly grieve.
Loss and Pain over the ending of a marriage or a relationship. The hurt is almost crushing for a moment or for a while depending what you feel you need to do. From my experiences I have had two relationships that I thought were going to last. My pain is my pain and I will own it and move through it. Parts of me have changed because of them, but I know they have shaped parts of who I am as well. We all have situations or things in our life that cause us pain. It is how we choose to move on for ourselves and the people in our lives is what is important. I have many things I need to get past and moving through the pain is part of it.
Blessings.
Kel<3
Two Emotions...
Joy/Pain...or any of the many adjectives you can insert for your experiences.
Lets talk about the Love/Joy Part first.
The Love that makes you wake up in the morning is the BEST kind of Love. The truest definition of Love is....Actions. I think your actions are the best way to show Love. Using words to back up your actions is a wonderful way to show Love and should be done often. Love is also....unselfish and unconditional. The way I believe true Love lasts is by always putting the other person first. Love can come in many forms. For example: Love for a lover, Love for a friend, Love for your family, Love for your child/children, Love for a Job, and Love for a passion you have. Pick one and then you may understand what I am talking about.
I also think at times Love comes with a price..but it should not be a struggle to Love. I have many Loves in my Life...but knowing that Someone truly Loves Me for Me regardless of my past mistakes makes me want to wake up in the morning. As well as having someone that has more expectations of you than you do of yourself at times. Sometimes it takes, the perspective of that person to make you realize that you are worth the struggle. Sometimes hard work has to happen to make things better in your life. Knowing that their intentions are for the best even when you are afraid to make the steps to make changes that you know need to be made. Having that person/people in your life is..... How we know we are Loved.
The Joy part comes from watching those in our lives achieve the things they have been striving for. Joy is having a beautiful little girl who reflects your imperfections and best qualities. She is my mini-me and it is beyond fun to watch her grow and change. Joy is being loved completely for all that you are.
Now....Loss/Pain
Loss and Pain go hand in hand. One will not be without the other. I think Loss and Pain make you stronger or push in a direction you need to go. Death of a loved one or family member is a Pain that many of us have had to endure. For me watching a beloved grandparent pass away is beyond what I never wanted to experience. The pain that is felt in those moments can hurt for many years until you properly grieve.
Loss and Pain over the ending of a marriage or a relationship. The hurt is almost crushing for a moment or for a while depending what you feel you need to do. From my experiences I have had two relationships that I thought were going to last. My pain is my pain and I will own it and move through it. Parts of me have changed because of them, but I know they have shaped parts of who I am as well. We all have situations or things in our life that cause us pain. It is how we choose to move on for ourselves and the people in our lives is what is important. I have many things I need to get past and moving through the pain is part of it.
Blessings.
Kel<3
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